My Favorite Thing About Autism
It can be so easy to get wrapped up in the day-to-day challenges of raising children, especially when they have special needs, so I’d like to shine a light on the brighter side of the journey by sharing my favorite thing about Autism. Yes, you read that right. There are so many positives that can come from an Autism diagnosis despite all the trials.
It's completely normal if seeing these positives takes time, and there's no need to beat yourself up if you haven't reached that point yet. If you have read my post The Day I First Heard the A Word then you know that I could not see the positives when I first embarked on this journey.
So here we go – my favorite thing about Autism is that my son does not fake anything for anyone. We've all had moments in life where we weren't completely genuine – whether it was faking enthusiasm for a well-intentioned gift or putting on a smile to mask our true feelings about a job. It’s so draining to put on an act for the rest of the world because you feel compelled to be represented in a certain way.
The freedom my son experiences from not feeling pressured to be something he's not is truly comforting. He doesn't fake his happiness; when he smiles or laughs, it's a genuine expression of joy. There's a profound beauty in knowing that every big, toothy smile captured in a photo reflects a moment of true happiness. And he just so happens to be the happiest person I know. He often wakes up giggling — sometimes at a decent hour and sometimes 2 am. He loves swimming, feeling the wind in his hair (and sometimes his toes), rollercoasters, and his sensory swing. I have done a lot of worrying about him, but it has rarely been about whether or not he was happy.
Note: I absolutely recognize the irony that this exact characteristic of my son can be the exact opposite for some people with Autism. Some people (especially females) with Autism fake their emotions to mask their true selves – this is appropriately called masking. This can be incredibly draining and often lead to meltdowns when they arrive home and ‘remove the mask.’ More information on masking here: Autistic people and masking (autism.org.uk)
Okay, I have to take this opportunity to also share my second favorite thing about Autism — the community. I wouldn’t be writing this if not for their support and encouragement. I started a nonprofit last year with 2 other Autism moms who had it on their heart to do advocacy work. With the nonprofit came a support group where I was able to feel seen for the first time since starting on this journey. The first time I met with these 2 Autism mommas to talk about starting this group, we had to be kicked out of the library at closing time, so we talked and cried in the parking lot for another hour. It was the first time where I knew someone else had the same feelings I had. The guilt and shame of my true emotions started to melt away. It was also in the library parking lot following a meeting a few months later where I broke down and finally said things out loud that I had only said in my head. I was halfway expecting to be met with judgement and ridicule, but instead I was surrounded by love and reassurance that they had all felt the exact same way along their journey. Getting those thoughts out of my head stripped them of their power.
Some may look at the nonprofit and this platform and think these are noble causes I am pursuing. And while that is somewhat true, honestly — this is for me too. With the support of my amazing Autism community, I have been able to process my emotions and start on my healing journey. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I still get sad when I feel like I’m missing out on something every other parent gets to experience. Sometimes I still get anxious when I think about his future and what happens to him after I am gone. The path to healing is not linear. The path to healing is not easy. But it is made so much easier when you are surrounded by people who understand.
If you are on this journey alone, please find your people. It will change your life in the best way possible.
If you feel alone and need someone, please contact me at chelsea@anything-but-typical.com.
